the comic's manuscript, without pictures
The following day was a Monday - a market day in Falderdeen. Adrien woke up early to accompany Val in a long day of errands - starting with the walk over the few miles that separated the tower from the rest of the world. It was another of those clear, sunny days that live in the boundary between spring and summer; but Val had to wear long gloves and a tight-collared shirt to conceal himself. When Adrien reached for his hand, Val would move away; "the path is out in the open, and people can see us", he had said. "For now, at least, let's not have them wonder". Adrien swallowed hard - but he understood, and he complied; the last thing a demon sorcerer needed was to draw rumors of an affair with his apprentice. All their beautiful light had to be suppressed - and, on that day, Adrien gained yet another understanding of how much a secret can burn on someone's skin.
At the market, the shopkeepers who recognized Val and Adrien would ask idle questions about their days, their path, their future - how far the apprenticeship had come along, how much longer would it last; and to each one Adrien gave the same answer - that everything was going as planned, and that it wouldn't be long before his final exam. When they said that he would surely graduate soon, Adrien would nod and agree and quietly hope for them to be wrong. It would make a more convenient story, Adrien thought, if everything went according to his original plan; he could tell everyone that he had his apprenticeship and did everything on schedule and went back home as a sorcerer and started working - a simple, linear story, pleasing but not pleasurable, delivered politely at arm's length. It would make a more convenient story, Adrien thought - but he didn't want his story to be convenient. He wanted to fully inhabit himself, even if it made his story difficult and uncouth.
Amongst the chatter of the crowd and the sellers hawking their wares, Adrien would sometimes throw a glance at Val, hoping he would understand; and Val replied with his gentlest smile.
Once Val had purchased everything he needed, they decided to tour the market again in a more leisurely fashion, stopping by whatever struck their attention. One such place was a busy clothing stand tucked in a corner of the square, of the kind that is crammed with merchandise from tarp to floor; and not only on tables and racks - attached to the tent poles were bags, scarves, and other accessories, and hanging down from the rods that held up the canvas cover were all sorts of dresses and robes that created a curtain between the exterior and the interior of the stand. Between the staggering amount of wares on display and the crowd attempting to browse them, Adrien found himself a bit overwhelmed as he looked around the shop; but Val seemed to already know his way around, and so directed Adrien towards the parts of the stand that he deemed of their interest.
Adrien was looking through a rack when he stopped on an elegant white robe with flowing sleeves, paired with a gold sash; the fabric was smooth and cool to the touch. "It's really beautiful", he commented.
"It is", Val smiled. "For you?".
"Maybe", Adrien replied. He extracted a paper tag from within the robe's neckline; his eyes went wide at the price. "Ah -- I don't think so", he nervously chuckled.
Val stole the tag from Adrien's hands and tossed it back inside the robe; "Don't look at that", he said with half a scowl, half a smile. "Take it", he said, nudging it towards Adrien. "Try it on".
Adrien stepped backwards and almost into another customer. "I -- I can't", he mouthed, shaking his head. "I can't do that".
"Why not?", Val said, wide-eyed. "Do you not want it?".
"I do, but -- I can't have something like that", Adrien said, gritting his teeth. "I just --".
"-- Trying is free", Val said, dropping the robe into Adrien's hands. He looked up at him; his eyes shimmered with love - and left Adrien breathless. "Please, Adrien... Can you try it on for me?".
A long pause. Then, Adrien finally smiled. "Okay".
As Adrien changed his clothes behind a folding screen, he had some suspicions about Val's plans, but, at least for the time being, he put these thoughts aside - they had no relevance to the present. He could not deny that he had been moved to tenderness by Val's request; and he so wanted to see his smiling face - he so wanted to make him happy. This wish to give was the shape of his love - and giving came so easy for him; and nothing made him happier.
Val had been waiting just a few meters away from the changing area, sitting on a crate covered in fabric; when Adrien pushed the folding screen open and stepped towards him, his face lit up with awe and adoration - and Adrien smiled back, hoping not to blush too much. He glanced at his reflection in the tall mirror, spinning around a few times to view the sides and the back of the robe. "It does look good on me", he had to admit.
"It really does", Val replied with a gaze as bright as it could be considered appropriate in public. "You look...". He breathed in sharply. "It looks beautiful on you", he said instead.
Adrien lowered his head and smiled. People walked past and around him, chatting and laughing and arguing - and yet he could see no one else but Val.
Closing the folding screen behind him, Adrien took in a deep breath and collected his thoughts. "Val", he called, watching his own hands untie the sash, "you -- you know I can't afford this, right?".
"Please, don't worry about it", Val replied from the other side of the screen. "I am buying it for you".
"I thought you would say that", Adrien commented with a simper as he opened the sleeve buckles.
"I want you to have it", Val replied. "Take it as a present from me... Wear it for your exam".
Adrien held still. His stomach sank.
*****
Carrying their purchases in bulky bags slung over their backs, Val and Adrien walked back to the tower, side to side. One of their bags contained the beautiful white robe. To Adrien, it seemed like the heaviest of the things he was holding, soaked as it was in all of his fears for a future whose shape he couldn't yet define.
Almost a year before, he had first set himself on the path that would lead him to Val's tower. At that time, too, Adrien was carrying much upon his back. Everything that was about to happen had already landed on his shoulders, but he couldn't see any of it yet; and with each step he took, he went only further from home. But curiosity had kept him moving, and curiosity had brought him to his destination; and again curiosity had made him become himself. He still was the same; he wished to see what would be, to plunge into his next unknown - but the only path he wanted was the one at Val's side. He had rarely wanted for something so much; and the more he wanted, the more he feared to lose. Because his fear, too, was made of the same fabric as his wishes - indivisible, one's darkness matching the other's light, both just as beautiful. He could learn to love this fear, too; he could welcome it as a companion to his joy. He had come to understand that this quiver of his being, this chaos, was part of himself, was who he was. It had been Val who had showed him - it had been Val who had guided him through the abyss that was him; and Adrien trusted Val to guide him once more towards their future, no matter what it would be.
The oat fields rustled as the wind shook their golden ornaments. In the air heavy with pollen, Val and Adrien walked together.
*****
The following day, Adrien returned to his spell practice with renewed vigor. He danced for the want in his blood, for Val's loving gaze, for the light of that morning - for the shape of his moment, to honor it with his presence. As joy swirled him, his magic's light revealed his will in golden orange. Adrien beamed in triumph and satisfaction; he swung the staff to see that light again. "I've been wondering if this would happen anytime soon... when would my magic unite with the color of spirit, like yours does".
The light on Val's chest spoke of pride beyond words. "It shines through the brightest when we are most aligned with our spirit... when we are most true to ourselves", he whispered in reverence.
Adrien smiled to himself. Again he watched the light of his magic, the treasure that bared his transformation.
Val folded his arms over the windowsill. He turned to Adrien. "Orange... Do you know what it means?".
Adrien joined him by the window. "...Let's say I don't", he replied with a simper, "because I want to hear it from you".
Val chuckled softly. "...Orange is the color of growth, change, and completion. It's the color of ripeness... The color of energy and action. And the color of joy". He took in a deep breath. "Like a beam of sunlight... it is one final moment of completeness. It is the present, in its brightest form. It's you".
"It's me?", Adrien said, to himself more than to Val. "Maybe...".
He grazed Val's hand with his; he lost himself in the pulse of the blue light over his hands. "What came first for you - the blue of your magic, or the blue of your light?".
"My light", Val replied. "A newborn demon is a formless spirit, unmarked by experience. The light arises as our personality emerges".
"Do you remember when it first came?", Adrien said.
"As if it were yesterday", Val smiled. "I ran to my Master... the master of the magical academy where I lived. And he told me about the signs on my hands". He touched the dot inscribed into a circle that was on the top of his hands. "This is the Sun, or the Eye - it shows insight and kindness, he said. And blue...".
"...Infinity", Adrien whispered.
Val paused, seemingly to gaze at something distant that Adrien could not see. "Master said always to cherish these treasures. But, after I had to leave the academy... after all this time... after all this loneliness... I had forgotten. And then... Then you came". He turned to Adrien - his eyes were shimmering. "Then you came, and you reminded me", he said softly, his voice breaking.
Adrien touched Val's hand; its blue glow reflected onto his palm.
"...I knew that when this day would come, your color would be orange. Without you... Without you, I was insight without growth, kindness without action, infinity without joy". He grasped onto Adrien's hand. "I shine brighter at your side... You make me myself".
Adrien closed his eyes and smiled. He let Val's glowing words sink within himself - for once, without trying to deny them. "And you do the same to me", he replied. "Before we met, I couldn't see myself clearly. I was full of ambition, but lacked direction. And I couldn't accept myself. You have changed that, Val. Thank you".