Adrien woke up the next day with an unexpected feeling of clarity about it all - as if he could see himself from afar, as if he had no stakes in his own matters anymore. At the bottom of his chaos, he no longer felt distress - no longer anything at all. Sitting on the side of his bed, his eyes landed on the tiled floor - although he had cleaned it the previous evening, he could still see faint traces of where the summoning circle had been. The needle that he had failed to use was still on his desk. He lowered his head, his hands against his thighs. He exhaled. All of this, he needed it to end - and, this time, he would not falter. In the last few months, all he had been doing was wanting - wanting to become better, wanting to understand, wanting to love, wanting to let go. He needed to take control. His failures had gone too far. At this point, all he felt was tired - tired of living on the edge of his breaking point, tired of being this way.

He stood up. "Tonight", he told himself, "I'm doing it". This was not an intention; this was a promise. Now that he had spoken it, he would not go back. This had gone on too long, caused too much pain. He would kill this sick obsession by forming a memory that he could be happy with, that he could put behind himself, that would leave him space to grow out of the boundaries of his chaos. And Val deserved much better than the gloom that had been hovering over them. They had only three more months together; he would not let them go away in sadness. Val had given him so much; it was about time he gave something back. On that night, he would give him safety and care; and after that, he would give him his untainted friendship. He wanted to be able to give him happiness, and leave him with a smile.

Adrien washed and dressed himself, then opened the door of his room and stepped out. He closed the door behind himself, then breathed out. "Tonight", he repeated.

He'd only have to make it through the day, and then it all would be over.

Adrien returned to his room. His heart was beating faster than he would have liked, but he wouldn't hesitate to carry out his plan. He picked up the staff and the paper with the instructions; he studied the symbol for a while, breathed in, then out, then closed his eyes.

In one quick movement, he traced a circle on the floor; then more lines and more circles, his body bending to follow the perfect geometries of the symbols, arms and legs moving in elegant and fluid arches - an expression of something visceral and arcane; something made of blood, throat, and night - carrying the print of Val's guidance in the beauty of his motions. Adrien felt himself choke as he danced, as each line brought him closer to the death of his love. Tight between his lips, he repeated to himself the only thought he could hold: that, tonight, his pain would end. And he knew - he knew that it would not wait another day.

After writing the incantation, Adrien stepped back: the circle was complete. The awareness of what would come dug its nails inside him and tore at his heart. His eyes lost focus on the symbols and patterns that were now covering the floor; his mind tangled at the thought of what would have to unfold - the thought of Val, with him -- with him, for one fleeting night; and then all will be done, all will be closed, all will be dead, at long last.

He closed his eyes. Although his chaos could not subside, he had fully seized his resolve. He turned towards his desk and picked up the needle, then walked to the larger of the two circles he had drawn and kneeled to its center. His brow creased as he closed his eyes and touched the needle with his finger - once, then twice, then thrice; then a fourth time, and then he jammed his fingertip against the needle - he gasped. He opened his eyes. He thought he could see a tiny hole in the folds of his fingerprints, but nothing else. Only after a few seconds did a droplet of blood emerge, almost black on his pale fingertip. Breathless, he slammed his hand onto the floor.

There was a burst of light that blinded all of Adrien's senses; when sight came back to him, the pattern that Adrien had drawn on the floor now throbbed with glow, soaked heavy with magic; the spell had accepted his offering - his blood. He stood up and brought the finger to his mouth; he sucked on it slightly as he set the needle down on the desk. He turned to the circle again and took a trembling breath. All had been prepared. Adrien enclosed himself within the smaller of the two circles; he raised his head and closed his eyes.

"I beseech you, demon. I am here, demon. Come to me, being of spirit... Come to stand upon this circle. To you I offer all I have... To your void I am now bound".

He gasped for air, then breathed out:

"Come to me, Val... demon".

The bedroom was flooded with infinite blue light, which gushed forth from the great circle and covered all it touched with its incomprehensible eternity. Adrien felt as if he was being pulled downwards by a wave of emotion too great for him to grasp at its name; it clutched at the exposed ends of him and unraveled his chaos as he fell towards the depths that his surface would no longer let him hide. The silence trembled against Adrien's head; the light coalesced over the great circle, and the naked figure of Val rose forth - dressed in spirit light, crowned in dark tendrils, he sighed as the power of his magic lifted him over the circle, then landed him on the floor. The storm subsided into mist and haze; within its remnants, Adrien stood frozen as Val slowly lowered his head and directed his gaze at him - and Adrien well knew those eyes of infinite sadness that he never wanted to see again.

"Why have you summoned me?", Val said, his voice thin and heavy.

Adrien wanted to speak, but words kept their distance from him and wouldn't come.

"Why?".

He no longer had an answer to this question. All that came out of his mouth was: "I...".

Val withdrew his tendrils and instead magicked up a black robe to cover himself with. He fussed with the knot of the sash for a while. "I shouldn't have said that", he said, as always too gently. "It's alright for your body to want".

Adrien's eyes widened with tears. "No", he hissed. "No. No...! No! No!", he sobbed and growled. He didn't want to ever raise his voice - but if everything was going to end anyway, he could not have Val think it had been something so simple and understandable. "It wasn't that! It wasn't just that!", he cried. He stepped backwards and sat down on the side of the bed, unable to stand anymore; he hid his head within his hands, and wheezed to give himself enough air to choke. "This is not going to make anything better, and I know I cannot stay here anymore after what I did, but I might as well tell you. I wanted to stop... and I wanted to move on... and I wanted to remember you... and I wanted to take... and I wanted to give... and I wanted to hold you... once... just once, so that you could feel all the love that you deserve... that I've been feeling for you all this time. I love you. But what does it matter? -- I've ruined everything, and --".

"-- It matters", Val burst out. The crack in his voice forced Adrien to lift his gaze and look at him -- at the overflowing shimmer in his black eyes. "It does matter", Val repeated, his voice now wet and tearful. "There is something I want as well... I want to hear those words again -- to carve them into myself, where they will fit perfectly... over the same ones that I've been hiding... That I have no longer reason to hide. Adrien... I love you too".

Adrien stood up. He wanted to cry, but his eyes were already full of tears. He wanted to call Val's name, but it was already within him. He could only walk towards him, towards that smile both desperate and peaceful, unlike any he'd ever seen on his face. He could only fling himself in Val's arms, no longer afraid to be received. In each other's arms, they cried loud, sobbing and gasping for air that only the other could give. All that had been was leaving forever - and now they were new, holding nothing but each other. Standing upon the magical pulse of the summoning circle, Val and Adrien saw each other at last; and nothing else.

Quietly, with pain in his smile, Val reached for Adrien; his warm fingers so gently caressed his hand - Adrien closed his eyes to understand that feeling, and he curled his fingers to hold him. Val's hand was so slight and delicate that Adrien half-feared that it would turn into mist if he were to hold it any tighter. Val lowered his head and let out a deep sigh; a crease appeared on his eyelids, and tears streamed down his face again. Adrien's arms moved almost on their own as they wrapped Val; and as he set his head onto Val's shoulder to give him comfort, the tears came back for him too. And so they cried again - as they needed, and as they could no longer hold. Adrien felt it under his hands as they held Val's back: something was being released at long last. He felt it within himself as well: when had he last been at such peace?As they held their heads on each other's shoulder, Adrien shifted his face - and his mouth touched Val's skin; Val's body shuddered in reaction - this incidental gesture had become a kiss. Adrien looked up at Val, startled by his own action; but Val only smiled - his eyes ever darker in the light of the torches and in the shimmer of his rising blue glow.

"The portal is closed, but that does not mean that we can't wish for ourselves", Val said in a low voice. "If you wish, we...".

Adrien breathed in. He understood what hid in his words: an invitation towards any possibility - a nod towards the longing that could now reach the surface - a wish for things to start becoming. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Val again, and let himself fall towards him. He closed his eyes; their lips touched. It felt as if his being was on the verge of overflowing; unable to hold this feeling and unable to resist it, he held himself still just to be there, just to continue being there, washed over by the perfume of Val's skin and his mouth soft and smooth like rare silk. Mid-kiss, he realized that his mouth had been a bit misaligned against Val's, and that he had been now lingering onto him for too long; he opened his eyes - he saw Val's closed eyes, so close to him, his eyelids lowered in an expression that he recognized as a kind of quiet bliss. Adrien couldn't help but smile slightly against his mouth; he kissed him again. After that second kiss, Adrien opened his eyes and found Val's again - dark like night sky, yet starred with wonder and joy. They returned to each other for one more kiss, and then for one more again; and for another - gently, yet not without hunger, Val pushed through Adrien's lips for their tongues to meet, sliding warm onto each other, each lost in the other's dance. When it was completed, Adrien could only stare into Val's eyes - changed. Something within had melted away. The softness of Val's mouth still shone on his own. He knew he would treasure that feeling for as long as he lived.

In the silence, Adrien's gaze wandered to the mesmerizing patterns on Val's chest - he followed each path of his glowing veins with his eyes until they disappeared under the fabric of Val's robe. Adrien outstretched one hand and touched the Fire symbol on Val's chest; its light became brighter under his fingers. Adrien's hand slowly traveled downwards - he breathed in deeply as he realized what he was doing, and that he wanted to do it. He looked up at Val's eyes, then down at the sash that held Val's robe in place, then up again. Val smiled. "Please", he whispered.

Adrien swallowed. His hands trembled a little as he tugged on the sash; the sides of Val's robe were pulled apart, revealing more and more shining lines drawing intricate patterns down his torso - the ones on his belly created a maze of blue shapes that shimmered in waves. Adrien breathed in; then, he slid the sleeves off Val's arms, leaving him completely bare. He stared at him, wordless; his gaze alternated between admiring Val's naked form and following the blue patterns over him as they shifted with each beat of his heart. There was a serene smile on Val's face, but a frantic pulse to his glow. The shimmer of his light flowed towards his lower body, where his patterns arranged themselves in the shape of a Darkness symbol surrounded by six lines that spread on the front of his hips, each ending with a dot of light - the origin points of his dark tendrils. Between them, one line in the middle went down, forming a ring around the base of his dick.

Undressed, Val climbed onto Adrien and embraced him again. Adrien breathed out sharply, unsure about what to do with his own rising arousal. As he set his hands on Val's waist, he felt Val's fingers tugging at the buttons of his white shirt, exposing his skin. Adrien took in a quivering breath under Val's hands; he grasped a little bit tighter on Val's sides.

Adrien had long wished for this moment; he had seen it in his half-asleep dreams many times - and yet, his fantasies lacked the way his skin burned with Val's touch; they lacked the faint popping sounds of the buttons under Val's fingers - and they lacked the feeling that something warm and fragile was being protected in the space between their bodies. When Val was done with the buttons, Adrien let his shirt drop on the floor. Each now looked at the other's skin as if it was a new word they had only just encountered, as if it was a sacred boundary holding mysteries not made to be spoken. One body shone in patterns of blue light, and the other was completely unmarked; both reflected the trembling fire of the torches, and both shuddered in an attempt to belong in this moment.

Val's hands ran over Adrien's torso and neck and face, searching for him. Adrien mirrored his gesture. Val's body was warm under his touch, and his skin so smooth. He stared into Val's eyes, his heart overflowing, and his mind in complete silence, taking in the feeling of Val's hands over himself as they slowly traced lines over his torso and back. When Adrien found himself touching Val's groin, he held his breath slightly. He moved his hand downwards, his eyes locked into Val's - Val blinked slowly, then smiled. Adrien took in a deep breath, then set his fingers onto Val's cock; he felt him shudder under his hand. The light of his pulse had now turned into a series of hectic flashes, and Adrien worried for a moment that he should stop - but the smile on Val's slightly parted lips told him to continue. Adrien ran a thumb on him, and Val took in a shallow breath; then he caressed him - and Val gasped. Adrien stared back at him, just as wordless. He could barely believe to be there where he was, sharing this part of himself with Val - he felt as if this moment was so much greater than himself, and that he could barely hold it, and that his chaos would soon spill over; and yet, he had rarely felt so calm and certain. He breathed in sharply, then outstretched his other hand to caress Val's cheek. Each smiled with the other's happiness.

Val pulled Adrien closer and kissed him again - returning to his mouth after each breath; and Adrien kissed him back with less and less restraint, his motions resonating with Val's - and nothing mattered more than this moment, nothing seemed to have ever existed beyond their embrace as their love found its first words through each touch of their hands. The light of Val's body was turning brighter; Adrien kept stroking him as he kissed - Val gasped and moaned softly next to Adrien's mouth. Val's hands traveled downwards on Adrien's body; in one gesture, he unbuttoned his pants, then slid one hand inside - Adrien gasped as Val seized him. Soon after, all of Adrien's clothes found their way to the bedroom floor. Against the flashes of pleasure that lingered at Adrien's edges, his attention was still focused on Val; on the way his body reacted to his every touch, the way his lips were slightly parted as he moaned, the way he looked at him with such affection and longing. As he kept stroking him, Adrien placed his other hand on Val's torso; under his fingers, he could feel his muscles hold and beg.

Val breathed in, then ran one hand over Adrien and the bedsheets to cast a cleansing spell. He wrapped Adrien in another embrace, and kissed his cheek. There were so many things that Adrien wanted to say in that moment, but no words ever formed - so he let his language become his fingertips as they touched the light on Val's chest, and his stumbling speech become kisses that clustered onto Val's mouth, trying to rephrase each other. Val's hands were now running on Adrien's waist; then, one went down to touch him again. He didn't need to speak for Adrien to understand and want.

Val's smile spread even wider; then, he dove onto Adrien's neck and covered him in kisses - the contact seared Adrien's senses, leaving him gasping and moaning. Within each breath, Adrien found the awareness that what was happening he could not understand - that he didn't want to understand - that it wasn't his place to understand, not yet; in that moment, he allowed himself to simply be there, exposed in pleasure and joy - his head raised to continue breathing, his voice only as an escape. His arms pressed against Val's back, wanting him to be closer, seeking the warmth that seemed to come from the flowing light on his body, feeding from his kisses. A blinding delight ran through Adrien's body and then further, he thought, as Val stroked him; he saw hands pulsating with blue light, fingers glowing as they closed around him; Val's eyes - his faint smile as he watched him moan.

When he closed his eyes, he was left with just the awareness of his own body, of the shape of his throat as he breathed heavily, of where his outer boundaries changed shape and disappeared - blending with the warmth of Val's body, with the affection of his touch; and he felt as if his whole being was being pulled towards him, their wanting entwined. A scorching, overpowering shiver forced Adrien's eyes open wide; he recognized the approaching feeling, and so did Val's smile.

Then his vision went blank; everything collapsed within one last unsuppressible wave, growing until it couldn't be contained anymore. He closed his eyes; gasping and screaming, he gave voice to his pleasure until it had all been forced out, and everything was silent once more. Adrien sat still, in a daze, his fingertips pulsating with echoes. He leaned back with his elbows into the bed, then lay himself down and closed his eyes. Faintly, he moved one arm, wishing to find Val again; and he felt his hand being held. At last, his consciousness slowly found its way back into his body. When he opened his eyes, he saw Val sitting next to him, his body glowing bright, his eyes full of joy - his smile, once again.

Adrien closed his eyes. Val had set his head against his chest, and was now resting quietly next to him. Adrien set his hands against his shoulderblades. Everything was becoming true, growing with each breath they shared. Adrien let everything fade as Val caressed him, as his weight pressed against him; he floated within this bliss, undisturbed, at peace. He felt himself drift, then slowly fall. He thought he heard a voice - faint, so far from him, yet as close as nothing had ever been; it touched him softly. The words were lost to him, but he could tell they were beautiful - he could tell they were his to keep. When everything was gone, the only thing left was the awareness that he was there, and that Val was with him - and that Val loved him. With a smile, he fell asleep.

"I love you, Adrien", Val repeated. Carefully, gently, he moved Adrien's arms away, and left the bed. Something immense seemed to envelop his being as his gaze landed on the sleeping form of Adrien. He stepped away and towards the window; holding his arms over his chest, he closed his eyes to see clearer.